Rants 'R Us

I don't want to talk about the fact that the last time I posted was nine-ish months ago. There could be some sort of birth metaphor in here, but there's not really. I did write something but it's more premature than fully baked. But who cares about that? Here's what I'm thinking about today:

What. The. Actual. Fuck?

This world has been gone to hell in a hand basket for some time now. I am stuck in a murky quagmire of hopelessness and anger. Joanna Macy might say this is good, that I have to feel all the feels in order to get to the work of helping to solve or some such thing. And I respect this. That is truth. We must face and feel the emotional weight and discomfort of helplessness, rage, incredulity and complicity. But I'm stuck in it. I am utterly hopeless. And fucking furious.

The world is run by stupid old white men. I am SO TIRED OF STUPID OLD WHITE MEN. And I have nothing against age. I love old people. I just hate stupid old white men who think that how they lead is acceptable. It is not fucking acceptable.

The world is run by stupid insane men. Why is Ukraine in a war? Fuck off Putin. Seriously. And don't get me started on all of the apologists who support Trump and the supremely broken Republican party and all of the douchebaggery in the Crumbling States of America.

The world is run by fear. Fear of the other, fear of people coming into my country and doing what? Trying to fucking survive because their regime randomly kills people? Because they are being systematically annihilated by their own government? Because they are starving? Because they are being killed for being gay?

I'm not smart enough to list off all of the other ills in society or the world writ large, but I assume you are catching my continental drift. Oh, speaking of nature (or spinning out tire car manoeuvres) WE ARE KILLING THE PLANET. We've been doing for a long time and now we actually know it. Have the science to back it all up.

Nothing I am saying in the post is remotely new or original. It's all just so fucking stupid. And I know stupid is an unintelligent word. It's classless and juvenile. Well, fuck it. I feel juvenile. I'm FUCKING ANGRY and am throwing a fit. A temper tantrum at the fucking State of It All.

So here's the thing.

The Shambhala teachings are founded on the premise that there is basic human wisdom that can help to solve the world's problems.

I don't disagree with this. It's obvious isn't it? We have the resources, heart, mind and material to be able to live in harmony with each other and nature. But we fucking don't.

Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche said that chaos should be regarded as extremely good news.

There are profound teachings around this idea that have to do with interconnectedness and wisdom in all things and that confusion is also wisdom blah blah blah but I don't really get it. I also understand that we are to start with ourselves in this whole rigmarole. That developing compassion and acceptance of ourselves as we are - with all our pain and confusion - are all ways to contribute to helping the world but sometimes it feels so very useless.

How does sitting on my mat help the refugee in a rickety boat?

How does sitting on my mat stop the melting glaciers?

How does sitting on my mat stop violence against women?

And infinitum.

How?

Rigmarole sounds like a pasta.